If women knew what we were thinking, they’d never stop slapping us.
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
Women have their faults. Men have only two: Everything they say and everything they do.
The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, the way to a woman’s heart is through his wallet.
Women and cats do what they do; there is nothing a man can do about it.
Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end-to-end, I wouldn’t be a bit surprised.
If women didn’t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
One percent of ballplayers are leaders of men. The other ninety-nine percent are followers of women.