Humor Quotes

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You might be a redneck.. .if the population of your town doubles when the train passes through.
By: shekhar # 1
In Humor Quotes
Why keep on enacting laws when we already have more than we can break
By: shekhar # 1
In Humor Quotes
there is an old saying that when you whistle the devil dances. So why are you standing still?
By: shekhar # 1
In Humor Quotes
The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A Death! What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating...
By: shekhar # 1
In Humor Quotes
The first time I heard the expression ‘public domain software’ I thought it referred to a woman of loose morals.
By: shekhar # 1
In Humor Quotes
Some people are like Slinkies - not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
By: shekhar # 1
In Humor Quotes
Some of the things I write are unbelievably funny. No one believes they’re funny except me.
By: shekhar # 1
In Humor Quotes
Love is an attachment to another self. Humor is a form of self-detachment - a way of looking at one's existence, one's misfortune, or one's discomfort. If you really love, if you really know how to laugh, the result is the same: you forget yourself.
By: shekhar # 1
In Humor Quotes
I will find humor in my everyday life by looking for people I can laugh at
By: shekhar # 1
In Humor Quotes
Humor prevents one from becoming a tragic figure even though he / she is involved in tragic events.
By: shekhar # 1
In Humor Quotes
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing
By: shekhar # 1
In Humor Quotes
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth
By: shekhar # 1
In Humor Quotes
A thing said in jest, is half confessed.
By: shekhar # 1
In Humor Quotes
Most species do their own evolving, making it up as they go along, which is the way Nature intended. And this is all very natural and organic and in tune with mysterious cycles of the cosmos, which believes that there’s nothing like millions of years of really frustrating trial and error to give a species moral fiber and, in some cases, backbone.
By: shekhar # 1
In Humor Quotes
I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize
By: shekhar # 1
In Humor Quotes
As God said to Job, Checkmate
By: shekhar # 1
In Humor Quotes
I can't prove it, but I can say it.
By: shekhar # 1
In Humor Quotes
Now we all know that Fidel Castro dressed up like Marilyn Monroe and gave JFK a case of syphilis so bad it eventually blew out the back of his head.
By: shekhar # 1
In Humor Quotes
Every disasters screams for humor
By: shekhar # 1
In Humor Quotes
The only way I can make a Jim Carrey face is through Novocain at the dentist’s office.
By: shekhar # 1
In Humor Quotes
Humor is an affirmation of dignity, a declaration of man’s superiority to all that befalls him.
By: shekhar # 1
In Humor Quotes