Funny Quotes

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1968 quotes
You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.
By: shekhar # 1
In Funny Quotes
There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved by a suitable application of high explosives.
By: shekhar # 1
In Funny Quotes
Tell me what you need and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
By: shekhar # 1
In Funny Quotes
On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the Escape key.
By: shekhar # 1
In Funny Quotes
Never argue with an idiotThey drag you down to their level.
By: shekhar # 1
In Funny Quotes
Needing someone is like needing a parachuteIf he isn't there the first time you need him, chances are you won't be needing him again.
By: shekhar # 1
In Funny Quotes
My Reality Check bounced.
By: shekhar # 1
In Funny Quotes
Last night, I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?"
By: shekhar # 1
In Funny Quotes
I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
By: shekhar # 1
In Funny Quotes
I love deadlinesI especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
By: shekhar # 1
In Funny Quotes
I don't suffer from stressI'm a carrier.
By: shekhar # 1
In Funny Quotes
I don't have an attitude problemYou have a perception problem.
By: shekhar # 1
In Funny Quotes
I can please only one person per dayToday is not your dayTomorrow isn't looking good, either.
By: shekhar # 1
In Funny Quotes
Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons because, to them, you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
By: shekhar # 1
In Funny Quotes
Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?
By: shekhar # 1
In Funny Quotes
Accept that some days you're the pigeon and some days you're the statue.
By: shekhar # 1
In Funny Quotes
You know the speed of light, so what's the speed of dark?
By: shekhar # 1
In Funny Quotes
Where there's a will, there are five hundred relatives.
By: shekhar # 1
In Funny Quotes
When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.
By: shekhar # 1
In Funny Quotes
When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.
By: shekhar # 1
In Funny Quotes
They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.
By: shekhar # 1
In Funny Quotes

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This Funny quotes collection has over 1968 quotes. The collection is for personal use only. Kindly do not copy, modify, distribute or sell the whole or parts of the Funny quotes without permission of the creator.

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