Computer Quotes - Page 7

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249 quotes
Blink your eyelids periodically to lubricate your eyes.

By: shekhar # 1
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There is unexpected beauty hidden everywhere in this world — one just has to be open to seeing it. Remember that the next time you sneeze on your monitor.

By: shekhar # 1
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I can only imagine the deprivation and loneliness you will feel from a lack of human companionship when your 1000 free AOL hours run out.

By: shekhar # 1
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She said she was hot for me, so i gave her a spare heatsink. She didn't seem happy. I just dont understand women.

By: shekhar # 1
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Morons. These people who live in my apartment complex are connected to my wireless. They must think they're super-cool hackers by breaking into my completely unsecure network. Unfortunatly, the connection works both ways. Long story short, they now have loads of horse porn on their computer.

By: shekhar # 1
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I want to see the Korean girl who works at the iPhone factory v. the Zune tattoo guy.

By: shekhar # 1
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If you can't beat your computer at chess, do what I did — try kick-boxing.

By: shekhar # 1
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Kids today have so many advantages I never had. There's no telling what I could've accomplished with a home computer and a handgun.

By: shekhar # 1
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Los Angeles County officials have asked that manufacturers, suppliers and contractors stop using the terms 'master' and 'slave' regarding computer hard drives, saying such terms are unacceptable and offensive. Additionally, the term 'e-mail' will now be called 'e-person letter', 'dumb terminals' will now be 'CPU-challenged monitors' and 'Unix' will be referred to as 'sexually dysfunctional operating system'. Obviously, 'fingering' is now banned entirely.

By: shekhar # 1
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You know you're a geek when... You try to shoo a fly away from the monitor with your cursor. That just happened to me. It was scary.

By: shekhar # 1
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I've always wondered if there was a Hezbollah version of minesweeper where you get points for blowing up on your first move.

By: shekhar # 1
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I say to you that the VCR is to the American film producer and the American public as the Boston strangler is to the woman home alone.

By: shekhar # 1
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This manual says what our product actually does, no matter what the salesman may have told you it does.

By: shekhar # 1
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I see no progress in this industry. These clocks are no faster than the ones they made a hundred years ago.

By: shekhar # 1
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I went to the gf's work last week, they had no antivirus. 279 viruses. The best part was they showed me their backup strategy: they use custom software and they backed up the application by dragging the desktop icon (a shortcut) to their cdrw. They had 2 years worth of shortcuts.

By: shekhar # 1
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Science is supposedly the method by which we stand on the shoulders of those who came before us. In computer science, we all are standing on each others' feet.

By: shekhar # 1
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Procter & Gamble, for example, uses an SGI system to study the aerodynamics of Pringle's potato chips. !

By: shekhar # 1
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A Mac vs. PC commercial you'll never see: 'Whatcha doin, PC?' 'I'm playing this new game'. 'Oh really, which one?' 'Any'. 'Oh'. (silence) (fade).

By: shekhar # 1
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OK, so the computer has understood, but what about me ?

By: shekhar # 1
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If computers had invented humans as part of a BI program (biological intelligence), humans would have been tossed aside as barely having achieved perfect game play at Tic-Tac-Toe.

By: shekhar # 1
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Reading, Pa., county controller Judith Kraines complained at a commissioners' meeting in January about having to type letters and do other business on a typewriter because her computer was old and no one had been able to get it to work for two years. 'If we had a computer', she said, 'letters would go out faster'. Three days later, she announced that the computer she was complaining about in fact had not been plugged in to any electrical outlet and that when the plug was inserted and the computer was turned on, it worked fine.

By: shekhar # 1
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